Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Is Santa Real?..

Ah yes, the famous question responsible for shattered dreams and for crushing the once firmly established knowledge based on a strong belief. Yes, I know that Santa, the one that lives at the North Pole and makes toys for all the children in the world and manages to deliver them all in one night, is indeed not real. Though no one would disagree that if such a person did exist life would be that much more awesome.

But as for the rest of us, I personally transitioned my belief in Santa as a real individual to a belief in the "spirit of Santa." The spirit of Santa is the remarkable power that makes parents buy all those wonderful gifts for their children. That same spirit helps our hearts grow two sizes each year as we donate our food, clothing, money, time or other goods to those in need. The spirit of Santa is one that establishes faith and goodwill to all the people we pass by on the street. That same spirit which makes us do incredibly kind things to people we don't even know. I'm sure you've noticed something interesting about the spirit of Santa. Yes, it is very similar to charity which is the pure love of Christ. Deep down it is another offspring of the true meaning of Christmas.

Will I teach my kids about Santa? Of course I will! If you ask me if I believe in Santa I will tell you "Of course!" You may be thinking that I have just contradicted myself but let me finish here (you have no choice, it's my blog and you can't stop me). When we were talking about this many years ago my dad said "well, if you don't believe in Santa how will you get any presents from him?" In our family our tradition is that we have our "under the tree presents" and then we leave out our stockings on the couch so that Santa can deliver his presents there. I want to see presents there so of course I believe in Santa! If you don't you might want to. After all, "how can you get presents from someone you believe doesn't exist?"

Merry Christmas!

My Favorite Season Is...

My favorite season is Winter when there is snow. Snow transforms our world into a white wonderland and somehow it always feels warmer when there is snow on the ground. It's like the snow traps in all the cold and leaves the outside air only slightly chilly (or maybe when we see snow outside we just dress warmer and bundle up). When there is no snow on the ground it's like a dog named Frostbite is running around and we all know what that's like.

Right?

Otherwise my favorite season is Fall.

"Creeper" Should Be Erased From Our Vocabulary...

So I'm not exactly sure when the word "creeper" was coined into becoming a key term that girls started using to describe "boys (that they don't know) who suddenly ask them on a date or ask them personal questions out of the blue during the first initial conversation" or something like that. I imagine when this word was first used it described stalker-type individuals who were shady to begin with or (to be blunt) boys who were literally "creepy" because they aren't exactly attractive. Thanks to Hollywood and other stories we can't even trust the handsome man with the sparkling smile at the Christmas party without labeling him as a "creeper" too. So what does this mean and what does it have to do with the post title? I'll tell ya what it means (of course, this is all in my opinion based on observation and personal experience and does not apply to every girl).

1. Even normal nice guys who want a date can't just go and talk to a girl they are interested in because they fear they will be labeled or seen as a creeper.
2. It has almost annihilated the concept of "love at first sight."
3. Girls are always on the defense of "creepers" during a first conversation and it makes the whole question and response process very awkward (and quite needlessly too).
4. Asking out a brand new girl that doesn't know you is nigh improbable regardless of the situation.
5. Stake/School Dances require guts and nerves of steel in order to dance with several new girls.
6. Girls can't tell if a nice guy is really just nice or pretending to be nice all "creeper-like."
7. For those who were not born with the most attractive qualities dating is an impossible nightmare.

Therefore I would wish that we could either erase "creeper" from our vocabulary or just use it appropriately for those that really send out threatening vibes when we talk to them instead of finding it a suitable label for "that one new kid in my class that suddenly asked me out." Amazing how the use of one word can change the dating game into a overly complicated mess.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Christopher Logic's Scale of...

As mentioned in the previous post, I just thought that I should clear things up by displaying the complete scale of "Best Words to Describe Something That Makes Me Laugh" or whatever I called it before. You see, I use certain words for particular reasons (as do we all) but the specific word I choose is not synonymous in my vocabulary as you will see. Well, here goes.

1. Hilarious - This means that I was laughing a lot
2. Really Funny - If I put an adverb (very, so, etc.) or adjective (very, incredibly) before the word "funny" I mean it. It was almost hilarious. (the previous sentence was relatively humorous to me as is this one)
3. Funny - When the word is all by itself it means I laughed or it made me chuckle and smile.
4. Humorous - That 50-50 kind of funny where it is really hit or miss.
5. LOL - I should probably make a post about this... but LOL means it was trying to be funny but no one's laughing. Usually gets a courtesy laugh out of me.
6. "I guess it was funny" or "I can see how it was supposed to be funny." - Longer terms, I know, but if I'm trying to tell the joke but I know I am/could/did slaughter it and I have to explain it again it means the joke landed flat on its face. Other people do this often too. When it was supposed to be funny and it wasn't, in other words.
7. Not funny. - This is literally what I'm saying.
8. Lame. - All the jokes were barely worth a courtesy laugh.
9. Not funny at all. - Usually means that it might have been funny if I wasn't offended in the process. Usually from dirty, vulgar or jokes that have swear words in them.
10. _________ - If I say nothing I really have no comment and would rather talk about something else.

And there you have it!

Relatively Humorous...

So I'm not sure if I've ever used this term around friends but part of my definition of the term "relatively humorous" will explain why such is the case. In Christopher Logic's Dictionary, when I say "I thought of something relatively humorous" it means the following:

1. I found it somewhat funny, and sometimes (but not usually) I'm the only one who thinks it's kind of funny while the rest don't understand why it's funny, find it more amusing that I thought it was funny, or they laugh too because it actually was relatively humorous.
2. Relatively contains the word relative (don't all shout Eureka! at once please) so I am implying that what I say is funny to those who are related to me.
3. Relatively in this sense means mid-level; unlike highly, very, etc.
4. Humorous ranks number four on Christopher Logic's Scale of "Best Words to Describe Something That Makes Me Laugh." (see next post for complete ranking)

Yup and yuppers.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Today While Driving...

So while I was driving my car today after school I suddenly thought of "frenzied monkeys" and changed the way I gripped the steering wheel (because, you see, I find driving to be incredibly boring). Instead of resting just one hand along the middle of the bottom section for all my driving needs like I usually do I decided to grip the wheel with the edge of my fingers (excluding the thumb) with both hands on the 10:00 and 2:00 positions. Where did the thought of "frenzied monkeys" come from? Your guess is probably better than mine.

Additionally, I found out that I can buzz my tongue in such a particular way as to tickle the insides of my ears to an unbearable amount (a similar sensation to those who are familiar with the "blowing raspberries with your lips" tickling your nose feeling). I was originally noticing that I can feel my teeth vibrate when I buzz my tongue when my teeth (notably the front two bottom and top) are firmly pressed together.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

You Should Stack Your Carrots...

Whenever I have the option to put carrots on my plate I always stack them. And I have a specific reason why although it may be considered to be completely absurd. It has something to do with being optimistic and positive. When you stack your carrots you make a pyramid/triangle that is pointing up. Optimistically positive people are looking up regularly. An arrow that points up has a lot more places to go than an arrow pointing down that will crash into the ground soon after its departure.

Right? Right.

Power Outages...

This morning the power went out for like, a second.

Does anyone else remember when the power went out it would stay out for some elongated period of time? I don't think that's ever happened since I've been home from my mission (it might have somewhere else but at least where I've been it hasn't unless I've forgotten already). I miss running around the house trying to "reset" all the light switches to the off position and boy howdy do some of the light switches in our house need it!

Food I Love A Little Too Much...

Honestly, if I could eat anything everyday without any consequences it would be:

Breakfast: Cereal, Chocolate Milk and a Doughnut
Lunch: Cheese Pizza and a Salad with Gatorade/Powerade to drink.
Dinner: Root Beer, a Cheeseburger from Wendy's and Fruit Salad.
Dessert: Triple chocolate ice cream and cookies. YUM!

Seriously, I love some of that junk way too much for my own good!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Sonic's 20th Anniversary...

So here's a really random memory from like, 2nd Grade.

There was a time that we got to play with jump ropes during some kind of gym like period and for whatever reason I imagined Sonic being a special guest to our school and being shown on the news. Oddly enough I imagined him breaking all laws of gravity and jump-roping on the ceiling.

Well, I thought it was cool. Congratulations Sonic!

For Some Reason...

I'm not sure why but whenever I e-mail myself (sending myself a homework assignment, a reminder, or a file, etc.) I'm never the nicest guy about it. Not that I'm being a jerk to myself on purpose but like I said before, I really have no idea why I do this. The subject line and/or body text for the e-mail always consist of "Hey you!" or "Print this bozo!" or "Here ya go lazy bum!".

I don't know if I can change it though. If I started being nice to myself and wrote "hey there handsome!" or "you got this 'cuz you're a star!" I would find it incredibly absurd and maybe question its credibility. And if I just send the file blank I'll think I'm giving myself the silent treatment.

I'm probably the only person in the world who would think of something like this.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Am I Cursed?...

I sneeze a lot. My nose becomes incredibly itchy when I wear gloves. When I eat frosted mini wheats milk somehow always spills out from my lip and drizzles to my chin. When there's an accident on the freeway I can pick any lane and somehow traffic will come to a complete halt while the rest move on. I always spill salsa on the table when eating nachos no matter how many napkins I use. I always end up putting my car keys in the wrong pocket when carrying things so my opposite hand has to reach all the way over and into the pocket on the opposite side. Whenever I want or need to wear a shirt that shows off my neck and I don't want to show off my collarbone I'm wearing the wrong undershirt. I always cough after eating ice cream or anything like unto it. I have a hard time maintaining eye contact with girls because I fear I'll start blushing. When my music is on shuffle it always plays the same songs in the same order.

But I'm guessing I'm blessed because I'm not the only one!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

This Morning My Smartphone Was Really Dumb...

I have the stupidest smartphone in the world. When I first got it of course it was wonderful! Fantastic even! Then about 8 months later it caught the "comatose syndrome" where it would turn itself off for no apparent reason regardless of battery. So I got a new replacement using my warranty. Things have been better, but for some reason it is really slow... and then the weirdest thing happened this morning.

Thankfully Heavenly Father sent me a bunch of dreams about looking at our clock and seeing what time it was, "6:40," but I knew it was a dream because I can't read the clock when my back is turned to it. So I kept waking up because the same dream happened over and over again. Then I heard a lot of movement upstairs (we're in the basement) that sounded like Dad getting ready to eat breakfast. So I look at my phone and it says that it is 5:50. Then I look at the other clock and it says 6:51 and so I panicked and woke up Kevin but then assumed that our alarm clock had accidentally been set ahead an hour (which has happened before). Then I needed to use the bathroom and when I walked out and saw the oven and microwave clock both stating that it was "6:42" I knew for sure that somehow, inexplicably, for no reason at all, my phone was not just an hour off but a couple of minutes off too. How? That never happens! So, needless to say, this morning was a little hectic.

And you know what the really funny part about it all is? I would've still made it to class on time but there was a major accident that slowed everything down on the freeway and I ended up being 12 minutes late.

Bottom Dollar...

I've decided to post my thoughts on this particular phrase: "You bet your bottom dollar!" before I actually look it up and discover its origin and actual meaning.

Does bottom dollar mean to refer to how most men keep wallets in their back pockets (on their actual bottoms)?
Does it mean the last dollar you have at the bottom of a pile of dollars?
Or does it mean the smallest dollar amount/value/worth on the bottom?

Yup.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

See Time. See Time Fly. Fly Time Fly...

We say that time flies when you're having fun.
They say time screeches to a halt when you wait for water to boil or bread to pop out as toast.
He said time slowed down to a minute for every second today at work.
She said time stopped during class.

I say time practically doesn't exist in the morning when getting ready for school and waking up earlier (somehow) doesn't help.
I say time zips by when you start your homework after dinner and when you look up it's eleven o' clock!

I say that time goes by slowly when I actually watch the clock, but if I look away three minutes might go by in the ten seconds it took me to get out some baby carrots from the fridge.
I say that time flies when you're doing what you like and/or with someone you like, but it feels longer.

What do you say?

Photoshopic Memory...

A lot of people have what they call a "photographic memory" where they remember incredible details about who was wearing what and their exact surroundings at that time and place...

I've realized nowadays that I have a poor grasp on where things actually happened despite my good memory. Therefore, for now on (as long as I can remember to do so) I will proudly say that I have a Photoshopic memory since I remember a lot of details-- just not where they actually took place.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

I Must Have Been Born With A Different Sound System...

To start things off I just want to mention that I am quite aware that this probably happens to a lot of people, or rather, that this has happened to a lot of people. Reading the title of this blog post illustrates that this happens almost all the time for me.

I've come to notice that when I'm in large groups, usually conversation circles (where people are somehow completely unaware of how silly the whole idea of a group of friends talking in a circle-- the majority with their arms folded-- actually is to people passing by who probably notice the dismally empty hole in the middle. Or maybe that's just me.), in cars, at a party or while walking towards my car and I want to say something witty, funny, interesting or just saying something for the sake of participating in the group, my sound waves travel about two inches from my mouth and fall flat to the ground. It's like I never said anything at all. I even make sure to feel a little bit of force against my vocal box so I know that I'm projecting my voice and still, nothing. No one bats an eye and even the people standing right next to me didn't hear what I just said.

Weird huh?

How To Be Forever Remembered...

So one day at the dinner table I suddenly thought "What could an individual do to be remembered forever even by a complete stranger?" I already had an answer for this brilliant question so I blurted out this question to my family and proceeded to answer saying: (note: has been slightly modified with more details)

"I would get a motorcycle and a parachute and start driving down the freeway really fast. I'd be dressed like normal but I would definitely have one of those non-see-thru visors. I'd try to find a minivan or some other car transporting a family with kids. As I drove next to them for a while I would get their attention by looking at them for a prolonged period of time (traffic permitting) until at just the right moment I could wave, give a thumbs up (I might even wink under the visor) and suddenly pull the parachute chord while going downhill and fly away while my motorcycle hopefully and ideally veers off into the shoulder lane without hurting anyone. Just think! Those kids would always talk about that guy on a motorcycle who flew away!"

So yeah. You'd be remembered, that's for sure.

I Type Words I Never Say...

I used to think that I type in a manner that matches my exact vocal phrases and words... while reflecting I came to know that such is not the case.

One of the prominent examples is the word "bro" which I commonly use in text messages to my brothers. However, I never use the word bro when speaking to my brothers, they are always Ryan, Eric, Dan and Kevin respectively. I'm not sure why this is. It could be influence from Sai Saici (of G Gundam) or Simon (from Gurren Lagann) who commonly refer to close friends as "bro."

Another word I only type but never say is "Anyways" (please note the "s" on the end). I can't think of the number of e-mails or instant messages in which I've used anyways. It should be noted, however, that I am more likely to say "anywho" before saying "anyway."

There are more examples that I could bother to think about, but I'll leave you with just one more in conclusion. That word would be "Yo" but not "yo" as in "I" in Spanish. "Word up yo!", "Yo, what's up?" or anytime I use yo at the end of a typed or written sentence. I probably don't say "yo" because I would probably slip into Spanish mode and the rest of my sentence would be a train wreck of Spanglish.

Chao~

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Here we go!

Looks like I'm finally getting "hip with the times" now that I have my own blog. The reason I am creating this is to answer one simple yet complex question (paraphrasing Kevin here):

"If your brain doesn't bother memorizing celebrities, authors, or pop-culture related items and such, what do you think about?"

I answered "I have no idea."

Welcome to Christopher BLOGic. As you might have guessed and hopefully noticed, my blog is appropriately titled. It is indeed a blog and it is also a window into my mind that will hopefully help others (and perhaps myself) understand my logic-- which apparently only clicks in my brain and is famously known as "Christopher Logic" (go figure). Anyways, this is just my introduction post and I hope you all enjoy it.

Chao~