I wrote this back around Christmas but didn't know if I should post it on my blog. After getting Kevin's approval I decided to post it. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I am in no wise mocking this song and its significance. I have always thought it would be funny if the boy realized that his lamb could talk. Therefore, in order to not joke too much with this wonderful Christmas song I will change a lot of the lyrics.
Holy Crap My Lamb Talks! Lyrics by Chris Neff to the tune of Do You Hear What I Hear?
Said the night wind to the little lamb:
Do you see what I see?
Way out by the hill, little lamb--
Do you see what I see?
A bar, a bar--
Serving drinks all night--
Where the men are in a big fight,
Where the men all fight with their might!
Said the little lamb to the little boy
Do you hear what I hear?
Ringing thru the sky, little boy
Do you hear what I hear?
A voice, a voice!
Blowing through the tree--
Was it a boy from over the sea?
It wasn't you and clearly not me!
Said the little boy to the mighty king
Do you know what I know?
In your palace warm, mighty king
Do you know what I know?
My lamb, my lamb--
Just spoke in the cold!
Let us bring him cheese and mold!
Tis the weirdest thing ever told!
Said the king to the people ev'rywhere
Listen to what I say!
Seriously, people ev'rywhere
Listen to what I say!
A lamb, a lamb!
Talking in the night!
Tis the strangest thing heard tonight!
Might as well claim that pigs took flight!
Do you see what I see?
Way out by the hill, little lamb--
Do you see what I see?
A bar, a bar--
Serving drinks all night--
Where the men are in a big fight,
Where the men all fight with their might!
Said the little lamb to the little boy
Do you hear what I hear?
Ringing thru the sky, little boy
Do you hear what I hear?
A voice, a voice!
Blowing through the tree--
Was it a boy from over the sea?
It wasn't you and clearly not me!
Said the little boy to the mighty king
Do you know what I know?
In your palace warm, mighty king
Do you know what I know?
My lamb, my lamb--
Just spoke in the cold!
Let us bring him cheese and mold!
Tis the weirdest thing ever told!
Said the king to the people ev'rywhere
Listen to what I say!
Seriously, people ev'rywhere
Listen to what I say!
A lamb, a lamb!
Talking in the night!
Tis the strangest thing heard tonight!
Might as well claim that pigs took flight!
–
Literal Version:
Said the night wind to the little lamb:
...
…
...
…
...
...
...*wissssshhhhhhhh*...
...
...
Said the little lamb to the little boy
Baa-baa-baa!!!
Meeeeehhhh...
Baa!
Meeeeh! Meeeeh!
...
Baaaa! BAAAA!!
Baaaaah-ram-euy!
Said the little boy to the mighty king
It was nice of your guards to let me into your throne room.
In your palace warm, mighty king
So I was wondering if you could lower my taxes?
I mean, I'm just a shepherd.
I basically work for free.
Well if you don't lower my taxes I'll start eating your sheep!
Said the king to the people ev'rywhere
Listen to what I say!
Pray for peace, people ev'rywhere
Listen to what I say!
A boy, a boy,
A young shepherd boy,
Is asking that I lower his taxes when he's not even taxed!
Can someone please offer him a real job?
...
...*wissssshhhhhhhh*...
...
...
Said the little lamb to the little boy
Baa-baa-baa!!!
Meeeeehhhh...
Baa!
Meeeeh! Meeeeh!
...
Baaaa! BAAAA!!
Baaaaah-ram-euy!
Said the little boy to the mighty king
It was nice of your guards to let me into your throne room.
In your palace warm, mighty king
So I was wondering if you could lower my taxes?
I mean, I'm just a shepherd.
I basically work for free.
Well if you don't lower my taxes I'll start eating your sheep!
Said the king to the people ev'rywhere
Listen to what I say!
Pray for peace, people ev'rywhere
Listen to what I say!
A boy, a boy,
A young shepherd boy,
Is asking that I lower his taxes when he's not even taxed!
Can someone please offer him a real job?
